Question 1: How to control my sex desire? Please tell me.

1. Begin by realizing that in Christ, you have been given the grace to overcome sexual temptation. (1 John 5:4)

2. Memorize Scriptures on this. Here are a few to begin (1 Peter 2:11; 2 Timothy 2:22; Romans 13:14; Job 31:1; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).

3. Take these practical steps to help overcome sexual desire: (1) Avoid being alone with anyone you are attracted to other than your spouse (2) Avoid long conversations with others you are attracted to (3) Don't look a second time or blink your eyes when you see someone attractive to avoid lusting after them. (4) Use the internet only around others if you are tempted to watch porn online (5) Stop watching movies, shows, and listening to music that promote lust and sex. (6) Share your struggle with a pastor or mature believer to pray for you and hold you accountable. (7) If you messed up then don't stay down, get up and ask the Lord to give you the grace to overcome.

4. For more, listen to the following podcast episode and read the teaching: Escape the Sex Trap

Question 2: “I have met a guy 7 years ago. He then proposed in the past 2 Weeks to say that he still wanna marry me but my worry is he is sometimes selfish and self-centered. We disagree on certain things like I love clothes and I always say to him when we go out wear this n that   His answer will be. “Are you here to change me or not ?” What must I do ? Keep praying for him? Or leave? I’m worried that I don’t wanna compromise too much and end up being married to this man then later divorce. I wanna marry and grow older with my partner thru it all”

We can provide general guidance on this:

1. Is the guy a born-again believer? The Bible commands only to marry in the Lord. If he is not committed to Christ, it is best not to marry him.

2. Get the counsel of your local church pastor or church leadership team. The Bible teaches that there is safety in having counseling. The counsel will help you make the right choice.

3. Have you spoken to the Lord about this? Ensure that you submit your will to the Lord in prayer. Seek his will and purpose for your life and whether you should marry him. Submit all your ways to him and obey his word. When you do this, God will lead you.

4. Remember that there is no need to rush and decide now. Do the above 3 steps. In the meantime, keep yourself pure. Do not engage in premarital sex with him so that your judgment will be clear to make the right decision. If you get involved sexually with him, it will cloud your judgment and make it harder to make the right decision.

5. Let the Lord lead you.

Question 3: [Background] The wife of this man went into a lesbian relationship. The wife is a pastor. She continues in the lesbian relationship while still pastoring. He has been separated now, and it has been in the situation now for 3 years. This man wants to know:

• At what point must I start to give up on this marriage?

• Can God restore my family? Or can I be able to raise my kids in a godly manner?

We can provide general guidance on this:

This is a difficult situation, and we will place you in prayer about this. 

Ultimately, this is a decision you will need to make between you and God concerning how long to remain in the marriage. But I will state a few things to help you consider what to do.

1. Although reconciliation is usually best, the scriptures give an exception for situations like this to move on from the marriage without any further burden on your part.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery

1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace

Basically, your wife is living as an unbeliever and has left the relationship (1 Cor. 7:15). You are free to move on in situations like this without feeling burdened.

1. Either way, after trying to reconcile for over three years now, you definitely need to live your life without carrying this burden. Whether you seek a divorce is between you and God and your own convictions (I cannot tell you if you should). But definitely move on to live your life to the fullest, being faithful to a different local church, and seeking God's will and call on your life.

2. Are you committed to a local church different from the one where your wife is preaching? You should not still be going to that church. Leave her church. Find a new Bible-believing local church, with a pastoral leader that lives a holy life. Be faithful to that church and involve the leaders in praying concerning your situation. Commit to being faithful to that church. If you are still attending her church, demonic forces will influence your life through it. Leave that church.

3. Get your children to be with you as much as you can and get them to come with you to the new church you attend as much as possible. If possible, get your children to live with you instead of her.

God can restore in any situation, which is why the ultimate decision is up to you. But you are free to move on without feeling burdened about this. Get to a new church and bring your children as much as possible. If you can get the children out of her home and with you, do so and ask the Lord for help.

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