Answering Your Questions
Christian Living
I. How do we refocus our commitment and relationship to God after being In destructive behavioral patterns as a Christian?
Repent and Receive full forgiveness. Realize that when you are forgiven, God places you back in a peaceful relationship with him. You are fully a child of God, fully forgiven, with access to God’s grace in prayer, and to his promises in your life.
Receive the ministry of a pastor, or christian leader at your church, who can minister deliverance to you, pray for you, and provide spiritual instructions out of those destructive behavioral patterns. If you are tempted, call out to a pastor or church leader for help in prayer.
Commit yourself to the foundations of Christian living: attending church regularly, reading the Bible daily, prayer and fasting, giving to your church, sharing the gospel. If you fall, don’t stay down, repent and restart.
Use the Weapons God has given - prayer, the Word, Authority against the devil
II. Can you be saved but not delivered from an addiction? Or once you say the sinner’s prayer and get baptized all addictions go as well or is the deliverance a process after salvation?
Once as you truly commit to Christ you receive salvation. However, you may still struggle with an addiction because it was a continual habit. God’s power can deliver you instantly. But some receive full deliverance as they continue to seek after God.
You can be delivered instantly by the power of God.
Your deliverance may not occur instantly, but seek after God through His Word. Seek the help and support of Christian brothers and sisters in Christ. Do not accept the addiction as a normal part of your life, but rather reject it continually by faith in Jesus. Claim that you are free in Christ. If you are in a strong Bible-believing church, and you are committed to Christ, the addiction will be broken.
John 8:31-32 If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; 32And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
Ministry
III. If God is dealing with you in terms of ministry, how do you know where to start if you are given various ideas (writing a book, poetry, music, counselor) etc. are things you believed God has gifted you in but don’t really know where to begin, so at times it becomes overwhelming.
Prayerfully begin one. It could be the area where there is a great need in your church. Or the one that you currently feel compelled to do.
If you are unsure of what ministry to do, simply become active in your church in an area the church may need help.
Ask your church leader for advice on this.
IV. Since my childhood I wanted to be a pastor and now I completed my B. Th. How will I be sure that there is God's calling in my life to do his ministry.
Every Believer Have a Calling to Ministry.
Begin by being of service in a local church in any capacity where there is a need. Teaching a sunday school or a small group; leading a department in the church; leading a discipleship team, or being a discipler. Assisting a pastor or a church leader. Through doing this, God will often direct and move you into the area of your calling.
Serve under the leadership of other men and women of God and commit to a church body, God will use your leaders to release and advise you into your area of ministry and calling.
The calling to pastor may come in different forms:
Inner Witness
Strong Burden/Compulsion to Teach, and Care for the spiritual well-being of others
Vision/Dreams
God confirms your calling through the fruits of your ministry.
Marriage and Family Questions
V. In regards to marriage how do you deal with a young person bringing in an unsaved person to church in hopes they get saved to marry them?
Admonish them delicately. It is good they are inviting unsaved to church. Furthermore, if they are keeping themselves pure, this is also commendable. You want to encourage their desire for others to get saved, their willingness to invite others to church, and their commitment to remaining pure while waiting for marriage. However, also warn them of the danger of having a relationship with an unsaved person - whom they cannot marry. Unequally yoked is not just for marriage, but also being too close with an unsaved person (being emotionally attached). The young person, and or the one they hope to marry may experience heartbreak, and then they may be turned away from the Lord.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Trust the Lord. At the same time, let the young person understand that the person they invite have to make the decision for salvation - it might not happen. And even after salvation, the newly saved person may choose not to marry. The key is for them to seek the Lord about a mate while continuing to commit themselves to doing God’s will, and doing ministry. Furthermore, their primary motive for inviting the unsaved to church should be for their soul. Encourage the young person to get involved in serving the church, doing mission work, attend church and Christian events - while doing these they will be exposed to other saved young people, and God will lead them to their mate.
Emphasize Holiness. It is possible that a young person may be giving into lust, and impurity with the unsaved person they are inviting. Therefore, stress the importance for purity in a non-condemning way. Emphasize the need to give no space to the devil with suggestions such as: to be among a group of friends, avoid alone time with the person you may be attracted to, keep conversations and interactions short, and avoid becoming too close.
Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman
to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
VI. How to deal with an unsupportive spouse specifically a (man) who is NOT supportive In any area of the marriage other than financial. (Emotional, physical, communication, children, no support)
Ensure you are giving full support. Treating this husband well, supporting him in his endeavors. Support his activities and the things he cares about. Compliment him for his financial support, and his leadership in the home.
Lovingly share with the husband the needs you may have with specific areas where you need support.
Speak to a Pastor about the issue. The pastor’s counsel to the husband may provide help.
VII. How can a spouse begin to trust again after infidelity?
Make the decision to forgive. Feelings of distrust may continue but remind yourself that you have forgiven your spouse.
Commit to counseling from a spiritual leader.
Expect certain commitments from your spouse. You are not under obligation to fully trust if your spouse do not remain faithful to those commitments. In the case of not following up to those commitments - report the issue to a pastor or church leader.
Among the commitments: (1) Terminate the relationship with the person(s) with whom they had the infidelity (2) Commit to counseling and following through with instructions given.
VIII. Should a spouse cut off a friend of the opposite sex if their spouse is not comfortable?
Your marriage is more important than a relationship with a friend. But there may be some underlying issues why this has surfaced. Perhaps the relationship with this friend is too close for comfort. If the spouse is being overbearing, and having a problem with any and all interaction with the opposite sex, then you may need to involve a pastor or mature Christian counselor to help.
Ensure that you are supporting, caring for, and showing love to your spouse. It will be uncomfortable if you are supporting, and caring for a friend of the opposite sex while neglecting to give enough time, and support to your spouse.
If you have an intimate history with this friend of the opposite sex, or if you have been unfaithful in any way, then reducing time and interaction with this person is not only helpful, but necessary. Remember that adultery can also occur in the heart such as an emotional attachment - absolutely avoid and dissolve any emotional attachment you have with a friend of the opposite sex - this often leads to physical adultery.
IX. What do you do when your husband tells you he no longer finds you attractive and you haven’t had any pregnancies yet and have only gained a mere 10lbs? Also he has done things In the past that has ruined your self esteem.
Know who You are in Christ. Your relationship with God is number one. You need to know before God your worth as a believer in Christ. Know that you are fully loved and accepted by God. Realize that you are a joint-heir with Christ and that you are headed to heaven to be with Jesus.
Let your confidence in Christ be reflected in your behavior, and attitude. Be the best wife you can be based on your relationship with God. Let your husband be ashamed of his behavior as he sees the beauty of Christ in you.
Be the best you inwardly, a reflection of Christ’s grace. And allow this to shine out in your outward beauty. Dress well, and be beautiful outwardly as an outward show of your inner grace. Dress in a way that is pleasing to God. Of course be healthy and monitor your weight, but don’t allow this to drive you - don’t do this out of low self-esteem.
Remind your spouse of the reason you both fell in love which is beyond just the physical attraction. Physical looks will always change due to age, and other circumstances of life, but both husband and wife must remain committed to loving and respecting each other.
Show respect, and talk to your husband to show you respect and remember that you are a child of God. You can also ask a spiritual leader to help in this.
I Peter 3:3-4 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price
X. How can you as a parent keep your young children and young people in God?
Start teaching and training them about the Bible and the things of God from a young age. Be an example in living godly life, attending church frequently, and being involved in Christian ministry. Being an example includes the things you watch on TV, your conversation around the house, the friends that you keep and so on.
Expose them only to others who hold the same Christian values and standards. While being respectful and cordial to friends and family who are non-Christian limit the influence of these where possible. Develop the child’s relationships with committed Christians and leaders. Develop their connection to exemplary older believers who can be mentors in their life.
As they get older, encourage and motivate them to get involved in Christian ministry. Even from a young age, encourage them to use any talent that they have in the church - singing, acting, sharing a testimony, sharing the gospel to others, etc. As they continue to grow older, allow them to participate with you in ministry where possible - take them on mission trips, or allow them to go. Encourage them to pursue their calling in God as much as you would encourage them to go to school.
XI. How do you deal with a child not doing well in school, and social settings and may have behavioral and learning challenges but parents fail to seek help or council in this area and the child is being affected? Also can you touch on giving medication to children with attacks?
Medication is over prescribed for many students in school. Also there is an abundance of diagnosis of kids for ADHD or ADD. Some things are children being children. Sometimes a student will do better in a different school, or just with a different teacher or a program to help with their learning. Behavioral and learning challenges are not always medical issues or mental issues; sometimes it’s just a different environment that is needed. Seek all the help and assistant for your child before medicating or simply accepting a diagnosis. Seek God’s guidance in this, and get the prayer of others also.
Try a different environment for the child. A smaller class may help the child without being medicated. Sometimes just a program or related service.
Clear and consistent expectations and rules are necessary at home. As a parent set the bar and hold the child to those expectations. Let them know that they are capable of doing well both in behavior and in learning and be consistent in expecting certain behavior, and studying habits. Be the first teacher to them at home, and advocate for your child in school, and other settings.
That being said, there are certainly chemical imbalances, and sometimes real medical issues. There is nothing wrong with using prescribed medication. However, realize that the science on mental, and emotional issues are not sure, and medication may be a hit or miss and at times require trial and error. As with all medical issues, Pray for the Healing of the Child. The Child can be healed by the Power of God.
